It's been a year of soul-searching.
And in that, I've discovered just how much time I've wasted, not only PLAYING video games, but outside of playing them, hanging out in those spaces.
I've always been drawn to games with certain visual aesthetics. Be they dark, whimsical and anime-esque, tasteful fanservice, I've always gone for characters that I could relate to, wearing outfits that I would wear. And it kind of turns me off knowing that, if I'm playing a game, say Cyberpunk 2077, Vampire the Maquerade, The First Descendant, Stellar Blade, I'm thinking "holy shit, I wouldn't mind cosplaying this character," or "I wouldn't mind wearing a similar outfit to a nightclub," but the majority of people sitting behind the computer screen are dumpy guys, probably wearing a baseball cap, and saying "bruh" and "sheeeesh!" a lot.
I've always hated how CHAV and dweeb-ish gaming spaces are.
Even games that were played by alternative/goth people that I knew growing up, are now usurped into appealing to mundane crowds (I/G: I remember my first experience playing Vampire the Masquerade Bloodhunt, and a teammate, whose character looked like your average Industrial club attendee in the late 90's/early 00's, and the unexpected voice over team comms saying 'Hol up, I'm finna kill this *gamer word*!' It was jarring, and weird to hear something dark/macabre appeal to a jock kind of person. But that's the mainstream crowd that goes for games.
I don't care about 'retro gaming' either. I couldn't care less about the past. It's like music, I certainly don't care about 80's music/movies. I certainly don't care about 80's gaming consoles/gadgets.
Being into gaming/nerd stuff has taken time away from practicing DJing, producing my own music, getting better at makeup, DIYing outfits. While a lot of that has to do with the lack of inspiration from the city I'm in, gaming certainly is a time waster, the anti-productive drug, that only leads to being overweight, losing hours of sleep, destroying an imagination.
The culture wars aspect.. Jesus fucking christ, I'm so sick of both sides of the arguments.
I think the gaming journalist feminists are just jealous of the hyperfeminine "hot" characters, and are acting in a way that could be described none-other than "femmephobic." It's the same bitchy attitude they'd give a woman in high heels, full face of makeup, at the grocery store, and would probably project their own inner-insecurity about "who is she trying to impress?" But instead, they use the smokescreen of the "male gaze." It's pathetic behavior.
On the flipside, the nerds that bitch/moan about 'forced diversity,' DEI/ESG. The people bitch and moan about a black Samurai, who sound just like the PC morons that bitch when a white person has dreads, or wears Bhindis. They're usually crusty losers, who have no imagination, who just fart in their gaming chair, while raising their blood pressure while playing some shitty shooter game, with predatory microtransactions and shit matchmaking.
I really want to step away from this world.
Music/nightlife/traveling/wanderlust/sex/art/touching grass & ass has always been at the forefront of my interests. Gaming was just filler... more like the nasty filler that is put in Mcdonalds "beef." But anyway. I don't care about what AAA studios layed off people again, what indie studio went under, bla bla bla. Bra burning spiteful bitches yelling on one side, stinky neckbeards yelling on the other.
Arsynika out. Au revoir.